In my last post I stated that I had gained 9 pounds, and I started gaining it since early May. I suppose that’s not completely horrible but I still would have liked to not gained anything, and instead lost! But I cannot change what has already happened, so I’ve been working hard to pick myself back up and get back on the wagon!
A problem I have is that, when I fall off the health wagon, it’s extremely hard to just jump back on it. I can’t switch old habits off overnight.
I’ve mentioned in a few older posts that I eat healthy and exercise and do GREAT for a few weeks/couple months, then one thing derails me and I get thrown off the wagon. When this happens I typically gain weight back. But this time I feel like I’ve been off track for a while and it’s frustrating. I’ve gotten better about not making excuses, but I feel like since I don’t have a set routine I suck at eating healthier. Yes that’s a lame excuse, but it’s just the way that I am and something I’ve tried working on. I am someone who thrives in a routine and will succeed. But being job-less for the moment leaves my days open ended, which can mean binges or not the healthiest choices.
One thing I’ve been so upset about is how much of a difference 9 pounds makes. You would think it wouldn’t, but I cannot fit into some of my size 16 shorts, most of which I bought before moving here and before I re-gained the weight. These are shorts that used to slide on without having to unbutton them, and now I can’t even button them or they can’t fit over my ass! It’s just sad on a few levels but it’s the push I need to start losing again.
I am also a stress eater, which is NOT good. I wish I had more willpower, and I know that I can do it if I really set my mind to it, but my willpower is zero. My boyfriend joked about this with me the other day. We went to the grocery store, and anytime I saw donuts or cookies or ice cream I would whine over it and was literally drooling. Then if he saw something that looked good, he said, “Oh, that looks good,” and would walk away without a second thought!
Along with calorie counting, I started measuring food again, which possibly makes my boyfriend think I’m crazy. I could be, who knows. But last time I measured food is how I lost 30 pounds in a relatively short amount of time and so I know it’s effective. It’s just making those little changes in my life that will change my life.
I’ve also been reconsidering a lot of things in my life lately. Some are exciting yet also scary. I will post on this later…